“I will not try to convince you to love me, to respect me, to commit to me. I deserve better than that; I AM BETTER THAN THAT … Goodbye.”
Saying this one sentence is a prerequisite for your recovery.
But are you there yet?
How long does it take to reach such an understanding? An understanding that we deserve better than what we had.
We may think that our relationship was perfect, that our Ex was perfect. But inevitably – when we drift through the phases of our breakup – we must come to another conclusion.
Because if we don’t, we have taken a wrong turn somewhere.
You can’t enter a new relationship and hope it works out while your Ex still resides on their pedestal.
You have to kick them off this pedestal early on.
Back then I really thought that my Ex was the perfect partner for me and that I would never find anybody who is as beautiful, as charismatic, as caring as she has been.
But in truth she was none of those things … at least not in the way I thought she was.
The point is, our views of our Exes and our relationship are distorted, far from reality.
That’s why a vital step in your recovery is to set things straight.
To reset your perception of the past.
One good tip I can give you is to make a simple list of the reasons WHY you love them so much and WHY you think that they are a perfect match for you.
Making that list will often result in a revelation.
Because you will realize that what you think was so special, was in fact, nothing special at all.
- The world is full of beautiful, charismatic, caring women.
- The world is full of intelligent, emphatic, handsome men.
- The world is full of kids loving, wife-on-their-hands-carrying husbands.
We “just” have to believe that they exist.
And I know that this isn’t always easy to believe when you are in the middle of a painful recovery.
But before all of that can happen, you have to kick your Ex from the pedestal.
Hopefully, you too can say this so important sentence soon … and by saying it let go of your Ex at the same time:
“I deserve better than that; I AM BETTER THAN THAT … Goodbye.”
Your friend and coach,