Here’s what my neighbor said to me right after my breakup happened:
“At least you got your health.”
Was it comforting?
You tell me …
I could hardly stop myself from strangling her.
But it got me thinking … what is the best comfort you can give someone who has a broken heart?
There … there.
(This might also not be a good idea, ask Sheldon from “Big Bang Theory.”)
There’s got to be something better.
What I found most comforting back then was when my friends (who knew us both) told me that this was all a huge mistake, and everything will resolve eventually.
It gave me hope and took away the pain.
For a few hours …
Then everything went back to “hell as usual”.
People also told me the following:
- Be thankful that you didn’t have kids together.
- Now is your chance to get her back, just call her five times a day …
- Maybe it’s for the best, she was so shallow anyway.
People who love you don’t want to see you suffer. Or they’re just annoyed by your complaining … they want you to be again as how you were before.
Unfortunately, they don’t have the expertise to give good advice.
So what IS actually good advice?
The problem is that there is nothing you could say that will make it easier sustainably.
There isn’t a magic spell.
All you can do is tell the truth.
Here’s what I tell friends or relatives who happen to go through a breakup:
“I know that it hurts, and I understand your pain, but know that everything will be okay in the end. It may take some time, and you will have to push through the pain and look into a dark abyss … but in the end, you’ll be thankful for what happened. I know it’s hard to believe, but try to take comfort in my words.”
That’s what I’m telling you today:
Everything will be okay in the end if you can push through it!
Your friend and coach,