Recently one of my 8-year old twin girls confided in me about a problem she had.
A friend treated her badly, and she wanted to know what to do.
“What did she do?” I asked her?
“She didn’t wish me a happy birthday at school because she was jealous, she hasn’t invited me to her own birthday party, and she didn’t want to come to mine.”
“And she pushed her so that she fell” added her twin sister.
I saw an opportunity for a valuable lesson, so I told her this:
“Well … let’s see together how a really good friend behaves.
A good friend wishes you a happy birthday and is excited about it.
A good friend invites you to her birthday party because she’d really like you to be there and celebrate with her.
A good friend never ever hurts you, because your well-being is important to her.
So does Emily behave like a real friend?”
“No!” both replied in unison.
After that, I started to think about this.
Don’t we adults often make this mistake too?
How many of us have tolerated the unacceptable behavior of boy/girlfriends/husbands/wives?
How many of us have suffered emotional (often even physical) abuse?
And how many of us have hoped that they will come to their senses eventually, and go back to being a loving partner?
Then let me ask you this.
Is that how a boy/girlfriend/husband/wife behaves?
No. (again in unison)
Here’s how the right partner treats you:
- The perfect fit partner takes care of you, always and in every aspect.
- The perfect fit partner NEVER puts you down in a destructive and not constructive way.
- The perfect fit partner doesn’t isolate you from your friends.
- The perfect fit partner doesn’t add drama to your life.
- The perfect fit partner never makes you cry.
- The perfect fit partner temporary cuts back his/her own needs to encourage and support yours.
- The perfect fit partner makes your life better, not worse.
AND … the fit perfect partner stays with you for better or worse.
Does this sound like you Ex?
If not, then you need to attract a better partner.
You can start with going through the recovery the right way.
You replace these beliefs and start attracting the right partners.
Once you have broken your addiction to your Ex, this should be your primary focus.
Your friend and coach,