Recently a member of our LovesAGame Community replied to a hurtful outcry by someone in severe pain. It was very well perceived and considered to be extremely helpful.
I’d like you to read it, I’m sure it’ll help you too (and please read my explanatory comment below it).
“Letting someone you love go is the hardest thing to do, especially when there is little to no explanation as to why. But as with any of our situations where we are the dumpee the only thing to do is to apply no contact even if it kills you.
It is the only way to really look at yourself, and he can look at himself and see exactly where you both stand.
He left you so you will hurt more, but when you completely cut yourself off from him, he will start to wonder and miss you. Now the thing to do when you apply no contact is to keep yourself busy and take that time to better yourself but do it for you and not to try and get him back. You have to realize that even though you want him back, there is someone else out there who can make you happy so do yourself a favor and start dating again because this will not only give you confidence it can help you make the decision if he decides he made a mistake and wants to come back to you.
When you stop dwelling about him and are socializing with other people, you may realize that you either don’t need him, want to be alone for a while or still want him back and because you “moved on” and can see clearly, “you” hold the power and “you” decide if you want him back or not.
Don’t let him just come back to you anytime he wants because most men will have their cake and eat it too if you let em’.
Live your life and just move on, I know it’s easier said than done because I too have gone through it and just barely making it out of that hole as I write this. The more you keep yourself busy and not think about him, the easier it becomes.
Evaluate the whole picture, is he really worth it?
How has he treated you overall?
Does he have a history of doing what he’s done?
In short look at the pros and cons and as you continue with No Contact you will know what direction to take.
I have been on both ends as I’m sure most on here have.
As Nike says “Just Do It” LOL … I promise you you’ll be okay.”
This is one of many comments in the forum that advocate the necessity of following the NC Rule.
Following the rule NOT for the purpose of getting them back, but to get yourself back and gain a new perspective (without dying in the process).
There’s one thing I should warn you about, though … the author of the comment mentioned that you should start dating soon, but that is not something I’d advise you to do because dating too early could have devastating effects.
I hope you’ve found this comment helpful too, and you are motivated to start with NC and your recovery.
Your friend and coach,