What happens in our heads when we can’t seem to stop obsessing over our Ex?
Here’s what we do:
We want to get to the bottom of things, but the problem is … there is NO bottom.
We are caught in a dark and bottomless pit of our minds.
We are tossing and turning every conversation we’ve ever had with our Ex, every moment we’ve spent together, everything we have ever learned about them.
Like a supercomputer, we calculate possibilities, outcomes, probabilities … trying to come to one conclusion only:
That all was just a huge misunderstanding … a small mistake that can be fixed easily so that things can go back to normal.
Even when we know that, it’s over.
But sometimes we succeed.
Sometimes the outlook so good, brain-simulation #245 seems promising, and we feel great.
Euphoric even.
But then, 5 minutes later, simulation #246 shows a bad outcome, and we go back to depression.
Why play this game?
You can’t win. Nobody has ever won this.
The only solution is to stop.
But how DO you stop?
First, you have to understand and acknowledge that it’s harming you, that’s the first step.
Then you have to set yourself certain periods of time where you do your best to not think of them … like for example 5 minutes.
Reward yourself when you make it and then expand the time-frame.
The helped me back then when I seemed hopelessly stuck in the “vicious cycle of thoughts”.
This really works, try it.
Then, continue with a more sophisticated technique, try our 6-step process to prevent yourself from thinking of them. A very efficient approach that is based on behavioral therapy.
I’ve tweaked it over the years, and it’s become super helpful to our members of the DETOX Course.
It’s something that you should start doing right away to prevent negative belief systems to take hold.
Because that’s the real danger … a negative belief is like a virus that will negatively influence the way you behave and think.
Make sense?
Your friend and coach,
Eddie