One of the biggest fears we have after our breakup (especially when following the NC Rule), is that we accidentally bump into our Ex.
I was terrified about this.
Because the problem here is that there’s only ONE right way to react should this happen.
And so many wrong ways that will only bring more pain.
I definitely didn’t do good when I eventually ran into her.
It made me lose my power immediately, and I beat myself up heavily for it later.
When I saw her walk towards me, my heart stopped.
It was too late to bail, too late to turn around.
I was trapped, didn’t know what would happen, all I knew was that I was so happy to see her.
I hugged her and whispered in her ear:
“I missed you so much” and immediately regretted it.
She didn’t say anything … the rest is just a blur.
Today it doesn’t seem much, but back then it killed me.
What would be a better way to react if something like this happened?
The best thing you can do in such a case is to walk towards them, smile confidently, say hi (again with a confident smile), turn around and walk away.
Don’t engage in a conversation, don’t stay too long, don’t keep eye contact for too long.
Trust me, anything else you do will just result in regret and pain.
Is it advisable to avoid places I could bump into him/her?
Yeah, it is.
Should I barricade myself in my room and never go out again?
Definitely not.
Go out, live, make experiences.
How should I manage all the other obstacles that seem to sabotage my recovery?
Sometimes the best way to go is getting guidance and help.
Your friend and coach,
Eddie