Is No-Contact impossible when you have kids together, or work at the same place?
After a breakup, there are situations that make things easier.
For example when your Ex moves far away. There is no fear of accidentally bumping into them … NC works almost automatically.
On the other hand, when you have kids together, and you have to see them on a regular basis … things are much harder.
You don’t get the benefits full No-Contact gives you.
But there’s something you can do instead.
It’s called “Reduced Contact.”
DETOX Member Catherine will tell you all about it:
I was at rock bottom, fiancé of 8.5 years, 2 kids, left me for his 4-week affair.
I didn’t think I could do no contact with the kids and financial settlement in process. I completely understood the concept of it, but I thought it was unrealistic given the need to maintain a relationship for the sake of the children (broken heart aside).
Then I joined the DETOX Course.
I found the information around ‘reduced’ contact hugely helpful. It’s simple, but when you are down and out your brain doesn’t work in ‘simple’ it works in complicated and difficult and trying to ‘understand’ things that can’t be understood.
I particularly loved the concept of doing a one-page worksheet before each meet (which is weekly). It was so easy: Do not say these things.
I even do them before phone calls required around the settlement and the children. It stops me making the nasty judgmental comments about him and his new path (and new gf!) and the lovesick stuff that I was sprouting (ugh). Feeding the unattainable notion of ‘hope’ that was never there, well not anywhere but in my mind.
Yes, I’ve broken Reduced Contact rules and guess what, it only hurt me! Yep didn’t hurt him, just me. What’s the point in that?? It takes a large shift in thinking to go from being broken to wanting to fix it.
Thanks Eddie. It is such a long process, but I feel I am on the ‘right’ path. I hugely appreciate your help. I’d hug you if you were in Australia!
Thank you Catherine.
See, there are things you CAN do to take back your power, even when you have to see your Ex regularly.
The key is the proper mindset AND preparation before the meetings.
That way you ensure that you don’t fall into the same traps that will throw you back in your healing … each time you have to see your Ex.
So if you are in this situation, I strongly recommend that you follow the “Reduced Contact” as I teach it and use our worksheet and prepare yourself before any meeting … it will save you a lot of pain.
If that makes sense to you, you can enroll here and start today:
Your friend and coach,