I bet they are … and I also bet that you are having an incredibly hard time about it.
The temptation to check their status, what they are doing, with WHOM they are doing it is so overwhelming.
You know that you need to stop (and I hope that you’ve started following the NC Rule already), but you just don’t know how.
There is ONE thing that you must do.
But before I tell you, I want you to realize WHY you are doing it.
Why you are probably Facebook-Stalking your Ex.
You are doing it because …
- you want to stay near to them, same reason why you want to stay friends in real life
- you are curious if they found someone else, even IF you know that it would kill you if you found out
- maybe you want to feel the pain over and over … it’s the fear of letting them go, losing them for good
All of those have one thing in common:
They serve NO purpose to your recovery.
In contrary, Facebook-Stalking delays your recovery and keeps you in a negative, powerless place.
Want to take back your power?
Then there’s one thing that you must do:
Unfriend them.
I know, I know … please don’t freak out.
I know what you are thinking:
Will they think that it’s rude?
Will they think that I’m bitter, not over them, etc.?
Will they think that I’m weak?
The answer is … WHO CARES what they think.
It’s about your life, your recovery, your future relationships.
There’s a lot at stake here to care about what THEY think.
So just click the “unfriend” button and stop caring about it.
Your friend and coach,
Eddie
P.S.
When you “unfriend” them, be sure to change your relationship status to “single”. Facebook will them ask you if it should limit how much of your ex you see. This is a great way to prevent them from showing up on your other friend’s feeds.
Of course, the safest way is to completely avoid FB for the time of NC … many DETOX members are going this way.