“Just tell me WHY?”
That’s what we ask our Ex, trying to find a justification, a reason for the pain they caused us.
Maybe it was all just a misunderstanding?
Wouldn’t that be wonderful? We hug, we kiss and everything is again as it used to be.
Back to that beautiful life we’ve so meticulously planned.
But instead, they tell us weird things. Things that don’t make sense.
“It’s not you; it’s me …”
“You will always be something special …”
“I’ll never stop loving you …”
I really hope for you that you haven’t heard these lines, but the chances are that you have.
When we hear these things from out Ex in our “explanation conversations,” we try so hard to look for some rationalization. When sometimes … there just isn’t one.
Everyone who has been on the “other side” maybe knows how hard it really is to leave someone.
I’m not justifying their decision to leave; I’m just saying that when you leave someone, most of us try to make it easier for the one left behind.
They continue to call us nicknames, tell us we are still their favorites … not knowing that this makes things infinitely harder.
Here’s how a client puts it:
“My ex was still calling me “his favorite girl”… “beautiful” … etc. etc. etc. all the way until I cut him off and began no contact 14 days ago. This is when I realized … I was accepting these “scraps” he was throwing my way in order to ease the pain. But at the end of the day, I still didn’t have his loyalty, respect, honesty. I had no real piece of him. Just empty words.”
It really is just that … empty words.
Things they say without actually knowing why. Often out of selfishness.
The most common selfish reason being that they still want you to be their “safe heaven” in case something goes wrong with their new love life.
Don’t be a “safe heaven”. Be a “heaven of no return”.
Burn down the bridges between you (for now, you can always re-build them later).
I know that scares you.
I was scared too back then … you won’t believe how much.
But I did the step. I went No-Contact.
And that’s what you need to do as well IF you finally want to be free from your Ex emotionally.
Break your Ex-Addiction.
You don’t have to do it alone; we can help you with every step of the way.
So, if you’re not already a member of our DETOX Course and our community, you learn more about it here:
Your friend and coach,