I’m sure you will like this quote:
“The past is like using your rear-view mirror in the car, it’s good to glance back and see how far you’ve come, but if you stare too long, you’ll miss what’s right in front of you.”
I know what you think.
Am I too staring in the rear-view mirror?
You probably are … but don’t beat yourself up over it, we all did that.
We were all obsessed with the shoulda coulda woulda.
But the point is, the more you stare back and wonder what happened or what you could have done to prevent it … the more you prolong your suffering.
And I’ve told you before that you must break this vicious cycle.
It is my firm belief that this obsessive over-thinking is mainly responsible for the excruciating pain we feel right after the breakup.
It’s visualizing and empathizing all the bad things that COULD happen that hurt us.
Of my god, how can I ever survive on my own?
And it gets worse and worse.
At one point you have to ask yourself what’s the point?
For one big revelation, that would explain it all?
That’s not going to happen.
I remember well how it went back then.
I felt an urge to “think things through” and every time I tried to escape it, this overwhelming guilt came up.
As if something wanted to keep her alive in my mind at all cost.
Today I know that this is our subconscious fear to let go of them.
But I know even more that it’s a fear you have to overcome … because it’s dragging you down.
It keeps you staring in the rear-view mirror.
So if you take away one thing from this email then this:
Obsessive overthinking harms you and you should do your best to stop it right away.
Your friend and coach,