Do you know what was really frustrating in my own breakup recovery?
These constant ups and downs.
One day you think that you are doing pretty okay when tomorrow this overwhelming sadness crushes you like a worm … again.
Know what I mean?
It’s just like there is no progress at all.
So we get frustrated, additionally to the frustration we already have … it feels like adding endless layers of frustration on top of another.
Up until to a point where we can’t go on anymore. Everything seems so pointless.
Ever been there?
Two tips I can give you.
1. Realize that your recovery isn’t a straight line.
You won’t go from one recovery phase into the other and never look back.
You will bounce back and forth, like a tennis ball, with all the negative emotions attached to it.
It’s exactly like taking two steps forward and one step back.
Even more so if you just let “time” do the healing and do nothing else.
Expect fall-backs to happen and you won’t be surprised by them.
2. Realize what you’ve already accomplished each time a fall-back happens.
How much pain have you already endured? How well did you handle it?
Good or bad, you can and will do it again …
Every fallback will only make me stronger and I’ll recover much quicker.
So don’t get frustrated, expect it and deal with it!
For this, we have a really cool thing in the DETOX Course.
We have an assessment that essentially tells you how far you’ve come in your recovery. The perfect score of this test is a 100.
If you score a 100, then you are the “master of love”.
(And no, even I don’t score a 100 … there’s always something to learn.)
But you can take this test right at the beginning and retake it every other week. That way you’ll notice your progress, even IF it feels like you haven’t made any.
That’s a huge motivational and psychological advantage.
I retook this test just to see if anything has really changed. I’m on day 20 of NC, and it feels good. I’ve gone through the lessons through part 2 but not finished with it just yet. There’s a lot to absorb so need to really focus on it. I went from a score of 45 to 61. Something is working!
—Marcella
See?
Your friend and coach,
Eddie